Dear Counsellor,
I am a 32-year-old educated working lady. Because of my background, I decided to concentrate on my studies and try to make a living. I never engaged in dances and I am not a hyper person. I am an introvert and reserved. The problem is that I am now lonely. How can I break out of my cocoon to meet people? I want to settle down. What puzzles me is that the hyper wild girls (at least the ones I know) are married. This makes me wonder: Are reserved people not that attractive? Can someone out there help me solve my puzzle? Thanks.
Actively take part in social gatherings Dear Viva,
I know that life is full of contradictions. There are times when, as females, we are encouraged to put our studies first and as such, we sacrifice other interests. Now you are at a time when you need to break out of routine. My advice to you is to start going out more often. Go to public places like cell meetings, church, wedding meetings and engagement parties. Any activities that encourage many people’s participation, be part of it. If you do not participate in any activities, very few males will take notice. You will be like the good dancer who danced in the dark. If group activities are not your thing, you can also try to get close to the male friends that you have built up over the years.
Ritah Viva
Start hanging out in good company Dear Viva, thank you for being and introvert and reserved. Your presentation in public matters a lot and the people you associate with. Some men may think you are too reserved, or that maybe there is someone else in your life. Do not become like those hyper girls because that is not who you are. Be patient, everyone has someone and you will get the right person for you. Being too absorbed in one’s self is a little extreme. Start hanging out in good company. Trust me you will find your perfect match.
Joran
By realising your condition, you are halfway to solving your problem. Just open up a bit, go out with friends or relatives. Stop being too conscious of yourself. Remember, looks are not everything.
Fernando
Don’t resort to being wild Dear Viva,
Yes, some wild and hyper girls tend to walk down the aisle faster than the more reserved ones. But that would be a generalisation and a myth. My opinion on this is that not all wild and hyper girls are off the shelf and not all reserved girls are still on the shelf. I believe it is all based on luck, destiny and timing. Being on the wild side could win you a serious husband or it could be a turn-off, and the reverse is true. I believe it all depends on who you are and what kind of people are in your circles. Get out there more often and meet more people and be yourself. If that fails, look out for reserved people like you, do not resort to being wild and out of control.
Eve
Take your time Dear Viva,
Thank you for going through school and now that you are working, it means you are self-dependant. Take your time finding a faithful man to settle with. Do not just rush for any because you think you have been missing out.
Ayoko B. Anywar
Don’t be hard on yourself Dear Viva,
There is a saying a man is not afraid of the future until he gets a wife; and a woman is afraid of the future until she gets a husband. To be single at 32, is frustrating for a woman, however, it should not force you to rush into an unplanned marriage or relationship.
There is someone out there for everyone, perhaps you have not yet come across yours. Perhaps you raised your standard of ideal man so high which no man can match.
Re-evaluate yourself, from the way you interact with people and your own behaviour. You seem to dwell too much on the fact that you are reserved. You might not be the most attractive girl in your locality who is capable of making every man desire you, but avoid being too hard on yourself.
Prince Kateregga
